And this is precisely what Michelle … By Evelyn Resh . Aug 23, 2016 at 12:22 PM . Though you can start by asking how her day at school was, don't stop there. Be there to listen when they need to talk without lecturing or trying to fix the problem. ''The best approach is to distinguish the person from her weight,'' Dr. Walsh said. Sadly, you’re hardly alone if your child is worried about his or her body size. Not her body. As their anchor, you’re also their doormat, chauffeur, punching bag, therapist and enemy. Do not express a desire to lose weight in front of them or talk about the diet you are on. Talk about the benefits of physical activity to stay healthy and strong, not to lose weight. When Your Teen Isn’t Concerned about Weight. My friend wasn’t sure whether to let her. If your daughter is overweight, discuss strategies she can use to lose weight. Now, if your daughter is asking your opinion about her weight, she maybe wanting to open up. Listening to what your child is saying about her or his eating is the place to start. There is a right and wrong way to talk to your teen. Here are some things you can say instead. With teenage girls, the challenge grows larger—how do you create engaging, productive conversations without causing a fight? How to talk to your teen about weight: Don't. It could even be damaging. Parents often talk about how tough it is to talk to teenagers, how their kids won’t say anything or listen to them. She is secretive or defensive about dieting. How your teenager thinks and feels about themselves stems in part from how her parents and friends see them (or their perception of that). "), but you should talk about it honestly -- without letting it become an obsession. By Kathryn Westcott BBC News Magazine. Share page. Encourage him or her to pursue talents and interests. And if you get into a situation where your mental preparation eludes you, listen to your gut. How to talk to your daughter about her body, step one: Don't talk to your daughter about her body, except to teach her how it works. I am the mother of a 16-year-old daughter. Talk to her doctor to gain information about the best ways for teens to get healthier. While we have had all the talks about her changing body and women's health, now that she is older there are more topics to discuss. Among elementary school girls, 40 to 60 percent are concerned about their weight … Her friends express concern. Compliment your teen on his or her efforts. Again, a better approach would be to emphasize nutrition and exercise and lead by example. You shouldn't lie to your child about her weight ("No, you're not fat! The more you accept your teen for who they are, the more they will be able to accept themselves. It can feel as if you’re walking on eggshells—on one hand you want to address the problem, and on the other, you fear that you could say the wrong thing and exacerbate it. Rather than behaving civilly by holding a door open for her… What Is Weight … Avoid talking about your own body in a derogatory way. Don't say anything if she's lost weight. The less we say the more able they are able to listen. When fitness is fun it becomes a desire rather than a chore. It's important for you to really talk with your daughter in order to understand her. Take time out of each day to talk to your daughter so you can keep up with how she’s feeling and what’s important to her. I try to talk to her and show affection but she pushes me away. Placing myself in your daughters spot I wouldnt want to hear the word fat. Finding more than one activity will decrease that repetitive feeling and keep her excited. Or talk to your mother. close. How to Talk to Your Daughter About Her Weight. Provide lots of healthy food options in your home. Talk to your daughter about her intelligence, wit, interests, kindness, compassion, warmth. Build your teen’s self-esteem and self-respect. Your teen may not be as concerned about her weight as you are. Whether or not you want to talk in detail to your child about weight might depend on what you expect them to do about it. Foster self-esteem. Your daughter will seem very mature one day and then silly and giggly the next. Teenage girls have a way of getting under one’s skin—especially when you’re their parent. As a parent, you want nothing more than happiness and health for your teen. Talk to your best friend. My friend wasn’t sure whether to let her. Teach your daughter how to respect herself and her body, and talk about sex in the context of a loving, healthy relationship. Respect your teen's accomplishments, and support his or her goals. I feel almost bereaved. Your child successfully meets her weight goal but then keeps upping the goal. Everyone is different though, and the words you use can mean everything to her. Talk to your partner about it. Girls with eating disorders have a distorted body image and continue to feel fat even when their friends don't share that view. She knows it every time she reaches for an article of clothing to wear that doesn't fit anymore. Her teenage daughter wanted to wear one. When it comes to food choices and weight, few of us are comfortable talking. Like Mother, Like Daughter; Opening a conversation with your teen about weight and health can be difficult – these resources will get you started! To be honest, it can feel like teens don't really want to talk about personal subjects like this. … Practice it; don’t preach it. Listen when your teen speaks. Published 7 June 2013. Children up to the age of 7 have little direct control over what they eat and how they spend their time. He recommended picking a calm time to talk and addressing the issue unemotionally. How to Help Teens without Harming Them Your child's weight can be managed by controlling their access to sugary and fatty foods and making sure there is plenty of opportunity to be active. Decouple healthy diets and exercise from weight loss or body-image related goals. Share. My teenage daughter has put on a lot of weight and I'm worried that it's going to make her unhappy. Teens need … Even if your daughter needs to lose weight, it’s best if the pediatrician breaks the news rather than her hearing it in the form of constant nagging by a parent. In addition, you as her parent have the first hand in the foods she eats. Challenging the beliefs they bring to why they are overeating or avoiding food are best handled with a light touch. But as much as we want to connect, we don’t want to be their buddy. Let’s take a typical scenario: You want to talk to your teenage son about his “irresponsible” behavior (maybe it’s playing too many games, not doing his homework or neglecting his chores). 10 ways to talk to your child about weight. How to Talk to Your Teenage Daughter About Women's Health Tweet. Don't say anything if she's gained weight. However, your daughter is aware she's put on a lot of weight. Talk to your teen about his or her self-image and offer reassurance that healthy body shapes vary. My teenage daughter has become angry, rude and distant . Listening rather than telling is crucial and reassuring. It is true that teenage girls are sensitive about weight and body image. Don't make or allow hurtful nicknames, comments or jokes based on a person's physical characteristics, weight or body shape. The teenage years can be challenging, especially for a young girl who is overweight. And for the record, if the pediatrician isn’t worried, you shouldn’t be either. How to Talk to Your Daughter About an Eating Disorder. Encourage her to share her emotions without judging her so she’ll be more comfortable telling you things in the future. More is always less with teenagers. Should your daughter complain that it's unfair that girls have dress codes and boys don't, you can agree, and introduce the concept of a double-standard. “Children are learning about sex from the very start, just watching the people around them,” Lavender says. She may experience feelings of self-consciousnesses and ridicule from her peers, and she may not know what she needs to do to lose the extra pounds. By Heidi Stevens. Teens are at an especially high-risk of taking dangerous measures to lose weight. Really talk to her. For years, the teenage girl endured soul-crushing abuse from schoolmates, strangers and even her family because of her weight. If you have a daughter who you suspect might be struggling with an eating disorder, it’s hard to know where to start the conversation. An appointment with a dietitian or other health care provider, if not inspired by your teen, may be unsuccessful. To help your teenage daughter start losing weight I would advise her to find activities that are fun and get her moving. She may tune out your lectures about long-term health. Your daughter's menstrual periods stop. Fasting, compulsive exercise, fad diets, or even purging are just a few of the unhealthy ways many of them try to lose weight. Ask for your teen’s opinion. Copy link. Being a good parent for your teenage daughter is about getting to know her and encouraging her to make wise decisions. Remember that the most important person here is you and the most important voice is your own. NEDA’s Parent Toolkit - Learn about eating disorder myths, treatment and insurance information, and how to support a loved one in recovery. 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