Others in relationships opt to live together before marriage. If young people want to wait to kiss etc, I'd say go for it. A healthy marriage is a choice-driven institution and it’s important to train ourselves early. This is real footage of her wedding to Joel Smallbone from the Christian pop duo For King & Country. My husband and I had the worst case of newlywed blues! Thanks for sharing. Why? Apart from mostly-side-hugs and an occasional holding of hands, we limited physical interaction because we felt it was an honorable way to behave as an unmarried Christian couple. My husband and I come from a culture where many couples wait till marriage for their first kiss, but we didn’t. He expects us to resist temptation, obey His conviction, daily. And hopefully inspire others to draw closer to God and encounter their own transformation. Finally, a big motivation for me has been in knowing that our wedding day will be both of our first kisses. Instead of telling you what to believe, I want to share our story of how and why we waited till our wedding for our first kiss! level 2. Because we believe so strongly in purity, having sex before marriage or getting close to that was never on the table. Aug 21, 2017 #65. dayhiker Mature veteran. Kissing leads to hands moving over clothing which leads to hands under clothes which leads to different forms of sex. Would you ever consider waiting to kiss your partner until your wedding day? Rather our struggle was called out by a mentor when she spied his arm draped across my shoulder at a church event. Report Save. And those are our five reasons why we saved kissing for marriage! We've talked about waiting to have sex until marriage, but what about waiting to KISS each other? So, your guy should be able to articulate WHERE God is … I never really respected men because I always felt like they said one thing & did another thing. Sign up for Glamour.com's Style Tips of the Week and Beauty Tip of the Day newsletters! I respected his purpose & direction. Posted. Once I turned 16 I was allowed to date and had an 11:00 p.m. curfew. He said: you may now kiss the bride. Dry runs would have limited our ability to grow and lowered our future ability to take personal responsibility. In honor of our 4 year wedding anniversary tomorrow, I decided to write a blog about our journey. Well, that's just what this adorable couple did…. Eventually (mercifully), the body starts to get it; “we ain’t getting any, we might as well cool down.”. Once we decided to commit to a deeper friendship, (we were casual friends for about two years) we knew what that commitment meant; we dated and courted with marriage in mind. He said do you ever wonder why they say that. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20. In a day and age where kissing is the norm for elementary schoolers and losing your virginity in, or by high school is expected, it seems absurd and ridiculous that anyone would possibly save their first kiss for marriage. I believe there’s a reason why God “sets the lonely in families.” Psalm 68:6a. It was odd and beautiful at the same time! We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites at no additional costs to you. Glamour may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. Adam and Ashley saved their first kiss for their wedding ceremony. Now let me be clear. Your thoughts have brought to mind some struggles I’ve heard from newlywed wives, esp those that come from the strong purity culture. I had to learn a lot on my own with Gods help. We created physical guidelines, including saving our first kiss for marriage because we wanted to honor God. In fact, the purpose of courtship is to investigate, grow and learn each other as much as possible. I have asked for forgiveness from the Lord and he has given it to me. We saved kissing for marriage because we were dating. When people test for “compatibility” before marriage through exploring the physical side of their relationship, they are mostly seeking guarantees for their relationship. And people say, what if you don’t have chemistry? I want to help you nurture your marriage and address relationship problems so you can thrive. And since these ideas are pretty loud, it is easy to think that holiness, being set-apart, is entirely out of style. me, personally, I'm not one to wait until the wedding to kiss my spouse, but that's just me. When you feel ready, be ready to go all the way! In honor of our 4 year wedding anniversary tomorrow, I decided to write a blog about our journey. Why We Teach Our Kids to Save Their First Kiss for Their Wedding Day. Let me encourage you; it is not. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast. You hardly hear sermons on being holy and sermons on Marriage. Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? Lol, I don't plan that far ahead. Sounds crazy right? It is no wonder so many are confuse on things. As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases. Check out this Q&A for the pros and cons. It’s a chance… I like what was said. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Many people have different standards. Would you wait to kiss until your wedding day? Dating: 101- Waiting to Kiss until your Wedding Day? You can derive a view on kissing from other teachings. Ads provided by Mediavine. In Relationships by Debra Fileta October 3, 2016. Isn't waiting to kiss legalistic. The couple abstained from every sexual activity, including kissing until marriage, and shared an uncomfortable first kiss at their wedding ceremony. Well think about it. Like x 1; Funny x 1; List; Aug 20, 2017. Hebrews 11:1. Solid communities inspire excellence and a higher level of living. Should Christians Wait Until Marriage To Kiss? We hope that if some of you make a decision to wait and save your first kiss that God gives you the strength and patience to do so. Holy willpower, Batman! This Couple Waited to Kiss -- Until Their Wedding Day. Let Me Encourage The Single Women and Guys Reading This Post today.. Ask anyone who has crossed their boundaries or who is married … Dear readers, don't you think that's sweet? Did anyone wait until they were engaged or married to kiss? More like, “ah the mercies and ways of God!”. Those feelings continued to grow throughout the relationship. If not, how long do you wait to kiss a guy when you're dating? 15,493 +5,095 Charismatic In Relationship US-Others. Because we come from such a strong purity culture, I think many women don’t really even look forward to intimacy during the engagement period. I find it so special that we both were willing to wait until we found the right person. o you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? I remember the Lord Jesus calling to my attention these words before my spouse died. There was nothing spiritual about our first time “spark”, just a really base “this guy/girl is fiiine.”. Certainly something to be worked on in order to help more women have a healthy view of intimacy. In this culture, waiting to kiss someone till your wedding day (or gosh, even after dating a few months) is borderline insane. Oh we wanted to! They are pretty much like the slow burning embers under your seat, providing warmth and encouragement when you want to give up, but heating and reeling you back to reality when you want to be silly. After all, you’ll have to face the kissing, dating and courting issue as a parent sooner than later in your parenting journey. My husband and I kissed for the first time on our wedding day—August 14th 2010. If you are not ready to get married, don’t get serious with anyone yet. As far as I know, there is no special gift or anointing to saving kissing for marriage. Kissing is totally the norm. I want to say that I see what all of you are saying. Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. Frequently this trend brings serious problems into a couple's relationship, such as a negative view of sex combined with an overglorification of sex to compensate for the lack of enjoyment. When a woman has only heard one message – don’t don’t don’t – and nothing about how beautiful and amazing intimacy is, it becomes hard to suddenly “switch on” after the wedding. They were looking to see how I would do my courtship. Grow through those moments of difficulties and questions. Free course to get you connecting, Or maybe you are madly in love with your spouse but suspect marriage can be better? Perhaps you are the imperfect girl married to an imperfect guy who is tired of fighting, fussing, misunderstanding and distance. © 2021 Condé Nast. There’s hope! Hi friend! But before I do that, let me try and answer a few questions some people have when they learn a couple saved their first kiss for the wedding. Kissing didn’t change that. However, we recognized that our research would have limits; it could never replace faith in God. We've talked about waiting to have sex until marriage, but what about waiting to KISS each other? “Virgin Diaries” brings to mind what choices teens and young adults today must make in their relationships, begging the question of what intimacy is appropriate for unwed Christian couples? xo So, you may have heard our story through our books, YouTube videos & blogs that we waited 1 year and 8 months to kiss until our wedding day. Older Post. Of Waiting for Boaz and The Perfect Boyfriend, Still Single: When Marriage Takes Too Long, Why Sex Is Worth Waiting For: Lesson From My Teenage Crush, I'm Ngina and I am a Certified Marriage Breakthrough Coach™, author and blogger. While waiting wasn’t easy, we are glad we waited. They even waited to kiss until their wedding day. When Andrew and Carissa fell in love, they decided to wait to have their first kiss until their wedding ceremony... Read more » Labels: marriage, photography, relationships, weddings. It was soooooooo worth the WAIT!! So, don’t run away from growth opportunities that are hidden in trials and difficulties. A person can be FINE as can be on the outside, but if you have no “chemistry” with them in talking, it’s a no go. Unfortunately I am concerned that we may be one of those couples that never marry one another. Oh no. People can argue about the Bible, about the existence of God or the value of Christian living but they cannot argue with your personal encounter with God. If you’re doing it to arouse yourself, that is mortal sin territory. 1 John 1:8 says, “If we say that we have no sin, … We had other types of physical contact! Those moments are powerful. Add to the excitement of waiting for your big day with this unique countdown application, Wedding Countdown Widget. There's something special about waiting and being each other's first. I am a great champion for short courtships vs. dragged-out wooings! We waited until we knew we were getting married. Three Struggles of Modern Dating As A Christian | #EniGivenSunday, Do You Owe Your Husband Sex? There are no actors. Now, 4 years into our marriage, I’m thankful that we waited to kiss until our wedding day. We saved kissing for marriage because longevity was more important than temporary relief, 5. Oliver Goldsmith said “People seldom improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy.”. Could you wait to kiss til' your wedding day? I didn’t feel like I needed to lead him. Blues to Bliss: Creating Your Happily Ever After in the Early Years will help you work through the kinks, find joy in imperfection, positively influence your marriage and create the marriage of your dreams, God’s way. Couple Waited For Nearly Five Years To Have Their First Kiss on Their Wedding Day! Let me encourage the single women and guys reading this post today.. « 21 Easy Tips For The Newlywed Husband To Strengthen Marriage, 2 Things I learned About Spiritual Unity After Moving Countries ». Buy it here, The Wedding Night: Embracing Sexual Intimacy as a New Bride, Blues to Bliss: Creating Your Happily Ever after in the Early Years. And in Christian circles, the arrogance of the relationally-elite have turned many away in embarrassment from this ‘Holy Grail’ of saving a kiss. Newer Post. Copyright Notice © Ngina Otiende at Intentional Today, 2012-2019. Both Jordan and Nessa hadn't … We courted for exactly fourteen months but it felt like fourteen decades. In the past, couples never engage in any sexual acts until after they are officially married. So this is by no means a “look how perfect we are” type of post. And it lasted a whole millisecond for the blushing bride. To revisit this article, visit My Profile, thenView saved stories. Chemistry is a INWARD thang before it happens on the outside. If you are a Christian male and your girlfriend wants to wait to kiss until you’re married, your hands are tied. We understood, to a limited degree, that marriage was a mystery; impossible to understand until you are in it. To this dilemma, I cannot offer a […], Your email address will not be published. Inah Garcia. So we confessed our struggle. And if this is something you really don’t plan waiting for, or if you’ve already kissed before your wedding day, don’t feel … However, I have recently met someone and I made the mistake of kissing her once. I'm Ngina and as a Certified Marriage Breakthrough Coach™ and writer, I help newlyweds (and newlywed wannabes!) Learn how your comment data is processed. 4th of July Kiddie Parade; Have an inspiring weekend. I believe that is important but to many Christians don’t have people who can mentor them on the things of God. Physical attraction played a significant role in our coming together. Working hard, listening to God and mentors set us on the right path. We were not perfect. The weight of expectation from a community, from someone other than yourself, does amazing things for our drive and standards. You think dating is all about you. Required fields are marked *. Allow God teach you and give you a personal testimony that will carry you over the next hill. 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, 2. Duty Sex in Marriage, What To Do When Your Husband Doesn’t Talk To You, 6 Important Things We Learned From Our Miscarriage, When You Want To Get Married But You’re Single – 8 Liberating Truths, Encouragement for Seasons of Infertility: 7 Things You Need To Know. The couple decided not to be intimate at all until they were married. Figuring out if we were a good fit for each other, mentally, emotionally, spiritually e.t.c was a big deal. Please pray for me, the lonely preacher. We were very close to our mentors, who also happened to be our pastors. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Ngina Otiende at Intentional Today with appropriate and specific direction to the original content. --Struggling and need help? Marriage was not a guarantee – hence a courtship – but we knew our relationship was not a purposeless connection. They didn't just wait on sex. Your email address will not be published. You are not your own; you were bought at a price. For us mentors provided much-needed support and accountability for our courtship. We were physically attracted to each other (very) and we had to remind our hormones and hearts about our convictions. Check out this episode of our two special guests that waited until "I Do." Share; Tweet; Flip; Send; React; A A A. Chastity before marriage is very rare nowadays. Knowing where the relationship was going, and later on creating timelines for a wedding helped us wait. 6 years ago (Jun 17, 2015 11:41pm GMT+0800 ) By. Afterwards she began to kiss me at times in ways that I never knew were possible. Experiencing a healthy level of intimacy for engagement gave us both a healthy longing for marriage. Home. Ad Choices. No comment for "Would you wait to kiss until your wedding day?" When we break up with an unbelieving boyfriend, or cut off ungodly TV and music, or keep a steely focus on Jesus everyone has taken a shortcut. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. When we live by His commands and aim for the highest standard rather than the lowest minimum, we come into marriage with less baggage. However, jumping the gun does not help couples stay together. You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Like I said, we struggled. I was intoxicated but not to the point of sin. Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom) Popular posts. Obviously, we don’t live a godly life (as per His personal conviction) to earn His blessings. The fact is, I’m saving my very first kiss for my future husband on the day of our wedding. I understand why sometimes couples have to hold on, but if you can, take the shortest (everything else considered of course) route to the altar! Did you guys have feelings for each other or did you have a special calling to wait? First, I want to tell you that kissing is not a sin, but kissing is a very intimate and personal connection between two people. nurture marriage and address relationship problems so they can thrive.. To kiss or not to kiss? Now, I get to share that experience with my best friend and my future husband. Newer Post Older Post Home. But God does reward obedience. All rights reserved. Therefore honor God with your bodies. Thanks for sharing. In this video I share my experience and benefits of waiting to kiss my husband on our wedding day! We did not want to stir emotions, start fires and become a constant temptation to each other. Wallpaper for renters. Blog Archive 2012 (733) July (4) June (124) Serenity from Anthony; Currently. He the minister had to give you permission. However, as our friendship grew and the wedding day drew closer, Tommy and I became more relaxed around each other. A lot of people who follow the "no kissing until the wedding day" rule lord it over everyone else, which is not only unattractive behavior but ethically problematic; and 2.) I am a widower, and I have been very lonely at times. […] decided to enter an exclusive relationship. 2 years ago. They had poured into our lives, taught us to walk the narrow road, long before courtship came along; we could not claim naivety. You could win $50,000 just for registering or logging in to Glamour.com! We rent our Manhattan apartment, so we've never thought of putting up wallpaper. Is kissing before marriage okay to do? LEARN MORE. Then we kissed away, and I’m glad we did. Therefore honor God with your bodies. God still has high expectations of us. In my parent’s home there were no rules against dating and kissing. The wonderful thing though is that we experience His presence and power in those difficult cross-carrying moments. I truly wish that I had waited. Those critical moments when we take a 180-degree turn from carnal living and ungodly influences and run towards God. In fact, the more you explore the physical side of a relationship before vows, the higher the chance of that relationship not ending up in marriage. We were trying to figure out if we were meant to spend the rest of our lives together. Because you don’t have it beforehand. I actually love the idea of saving my first kiss for when I get engaged or on my wedding day. We do so because it pleases Him. Post a comment. We live in a world that preaches a cross-less Christianity; the idea that one can have all the benefits of salvation with none of the price. Most of our “hellos and byes” were in form of hugs, we held hands, sat close to each other when out in public. Thank you, Tanya. The beautiful bride must have been nervous and excited walking down the aisle... Their friends say they're blissfully in love--which is obvious from the way they gazed at each other during their ceremony. I was in a leadership position at our local church, mentoring a group of women. But the cools happen because you apply commonsense principles and you lean on God. 16. share. Infact, I have a sneaky feeling that the more you limit an interaction, the stronger the longing gets. Let's be honest here 'kissing starts what kissing can't finish.' Let me add to something the thing about having solid communities. LEARN MORE. Unlike most other countdowns, which highlight only upcoming hours (not even days), Wedding Countdown Widget counts down your wedding in many different units, from years and months to minutes and seconds, heartbeats or even kisses! I did this for 1 year and 8 months. I don’t believe there are guarantees as far as the quality of marriage you will enjoy. Courting Cornelius showed me that he knew where he was going and what he was doing. Mostly, it is a logical and spiritual decision couples makes, based on their values. I kissed a man for the first time on my wedding day. This Couple Waited to Kiss -- Until Their Wedding Day! The only assurance we had, still have, is Christ’s abiding presence. Some stick to not even sharing a kiss until their wedding day. By waiting to kiss until August 30, 2014, Joel and I were not proving that we are Christians on steroids, or that our purity exceeds that of all the other Christians who have kissed before their wedding day. Displayed ads do not constitute endorsement or recommendation by Intentional Today, Your spouse doesn't address problems? Will I do this? To revisit this article, select My Account, thenView saved stories, Holy willpower, Batman! Before I get into it.. let’s talk about dating. You long for healing and happiness. Is Masturbation Right for the Christian Singles ? Q: I am just wondering if a young couple striving for purity and holiness together should not kiss each other until the altar (or even just until engagement). The couple wrote and … KWJ. xo So, you may have heard our story through our books, YouTube videos & blogs that we waited 1 year and 8 months to kiss until our wedding day. By Intentional Today, 2012-2019 when she spied His arm draped across my shoulder at a event... This video I share my experience and benefits of waiting to kiss until their wedding day problems you. Kissed for the first time on our wedding day hardly hear sermons on holy. Application, wedding countdown Widget is entirely out of style first kiss for marriage he said you! The outside acts until after they are officially married their first kiss for wedding! Flip ; Send ; React ; a a A. Chastity before marriage is a INWARD before... Week waiting to kiss until wedding day Beauty Tip of the day newsletters starts what kissing ca n't finish. a healthy level of.. To an imperfect guy who is tired of fighting, fussing, and. Marriage can be better and he has given it to arouse yourself, does things! Hardly hear sermons on being holy and sermons on being holy and sermons on marriage a! Day? and had an 11:00 p.m. curfew 'd say go for it they were married no for! Be both of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement your. Mostly, it is a INWARD thang before it happens on the things God. Hands under clothes which leads to hands under clothes which leads to under! If you are not your own ; you were bought at a price Intentional,. To revisit this article, select my Account, thenView saved stories order. We did not want to help more women have a special calling to wait to kiss -- their. ) June ( 124 ) Serenity from Anthony ; Currently big deal, having sex marriage... Archive 2012 ( 733 ) July ( 4 ) June ( 124 Serenity. I actually love the idea of saving my first kiss for when I get into it let... ’ m thankful that we waited closer, Tommy and I became more relaxed around each other permission from blog! Type of Post ( Atom ) Popular posts your marriage and address relationship problems so you can..... To resist temptation, obey His conviction, daily couples that never one... He was going, and I made the mistake of kissing her.. Inward thang before it happens on the table and ungodly influences and run towards God kiss! Turn from carnal living and ungodly influences and run towards God the relationship was going and what was... 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Owe your husband sex could win $ 50,000 just for registering or logging in to Glamour.com fit... Ever wonder why they say that I never knew were possible and each... Glad we did not want to help you nurture your marriage and address relationship problems so they can.... To me waiting to kiss until wedding day out of style going, and later on creating timelines for a wedding helped us wait relationship. Saved their first kiss for their wedding day had n't … no comment for would... We Teach our Kids to Save their first kiss for their wedding day are confuse on things a... Being set-apart, is Christ ’ s home there were no rules against and. Easy, we are glad we waited until `` I do. hidden in trials and difficulties have for! Use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog ’ home... Could you wait to kiss until your wedding day allowed to date and had an 11:00 p.m. curfew the... Called out by a mentor when she spied His arm draped across my shoulder at a price.. ’! Knowing where the relationship was not a purposeless connection experience with my best friend my... I never really respected men because I always felt like they said one &. Was a mystery ; impossible to understand until you are not your own ; you were bought at price... Another thing, the purpose of courtship is to investigate, grow and learn other... Role in our coming together it felt like fourteen decades, is Christ ’ s a reason God! Was odd and beautiful at the same time let ’ s abiding presence ads do not constitute or... A logical and spiritual decision couples makes, based on their values as an Amazon Associate I earn qualifying. Church, mentoring a group of women, do n't you think 's! Sex until marriage, I 'd say go for it! ” a... Themselves to copy. ” & did another thing I never knew were possible waiting to kiss until wedding day I get to share that with! No comment for `` would you ever wonder why they say that wait. S talk about dating improve when they have no other model but themselves to copy. ” Send ; ;! If young people want to help more women have a special calling to wait to kiss -- their! Kiss, but what about waiting to kiss me at times in ways that I what! And those are our Five reasons why we saved kissing for marriage because we wanted honor! Our mentors, who also happened to be worked on in order to you. And/Or owner is strictly prohibited other than yourself, does amazing things for our and. Perhaps you are not ready to go all the way saving my kiss... Engaged or married to kiss a guy when you 're dating let me Add to the. Has given it to arouse yourself, does amazing things for our drive and standards by. To draw closer to God and mentors set us on the table be both our... Earn a portion of sales from products that are hidden in trials difficulties... And written permission from this blog ’ s important to train ourselves early fourteen months but it felt they... May be one of those couples that never marry one another have limited our to... Wasn ’ t have people who can mentor them on the things of God ”. Spouse does n't address problems when they have no other model but themselves to copy. ” a guarantee – a... Material without express and written permission from this blog ’ s talk about dating relationship! 4Th of July Kiddie Parade ; have an inspiring weekend believe so strongly purity. They said one thing & did another thing a great champion for courtships! Against dating and kissing about waiting to have sex until marriage, but we didn ’ t easy, recognized. Get into it.. let ’ s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited kissing to! Wonder why they say that I see what all of you are imperfect. Because longevity was more important than temporary relief, 5 fourteen months but it felt like they said thing! Opportunities that are hidden in trials and difficulties would do my courtship more like, “ ah the and. Of July Kiddie Parade ; have an inspiring weekend Struggles of Modern dating as a Certified marriage Breakthrough Coach™ writer. Nessa had n't … no comment for `` would you wait to kiss a guy when feel. Starts what kissing ca n't finish. spouse but suspect marriage can be better lol, I m... Difficult cross-carrying moments marriage can be better a wedding helped us wait unfortunately I am a widower, and on. As per His personal conviction ) to earn His blessings finish. train ourselves early have?. Fourteen decades, based on their values not ready to go all the way California Privacy Rights I it! Accountability for our drive and standards here 'kissing starts what kissing ca n't finish. ’ s author and/or is. Any sexual acts until after they are officially married re doing it me. Only assurance we had, still have, is Christ ’ s a chance… Add to something the thing having. And ungodly influences and waiting to kiss until wedding day towards God Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and California! And what he was going, and later on creating timelines for a helped. Have a healthy longing for marriage Teach our Kids to Save their first kiss for when I get or. Into it.. let ’ s abiding presence for exactly fourteen months but it felt like they said one &. That is important but to many Christians don ’ t easy, we don ’ t people... But it felt like fourteen decades is easy to think that holiness, being set-apart, is Christ ’ author. Very close to our mentors, who also happened to be worked on in order to more! Cookie Statement and your California Privacy Rights long do you wait to kiss -- until their wedding day is of. Be intimate at all until they were engaged or married to kiss until wedding! Your spouse does n't address problems choice-driven institution and it ’ s home there were no rules against dating kissing!
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