You’re just gonna murder them on fake trumped-up charges, no trial or anything, on one guy’s say-so? To deal with this misdemeanor, I will haul you directly into the office of the Wizard President, while she’s in an important meeting with the head of the Wizard NSA. A feat of imagination and featuring a cast of remarkable characters and magical creatures, this is epic adventure-packed storytelling at its very best. FLOPPY-HAIRED DORK EDDIE REDMAYNE has just gotten off a ship from ENGLAND, and is going through CUSTOMS while beginning his self-imposed challenge to go the entire movie without making eye contact with ANYTHING. Author (s): J.K. Rowling. Apparently I’ve been posing as a civil servant and chatting up troubled teens. SHIP/INT. Omigod omigod omigod I gotta eat THAT cockroach, yes there are like a dozen similar such cockroaches here in this attic and I’ve apparently been sitting here ignoring them, but as soon as I saw that cockroach go into that teapot I realized I absolutely must eat THAT COCKROACH AND NOTHING ELSE CHAAARRGE. Man, why does Rowling hate her own species so much? Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Screen Play live reading! A hundred WIZARD COPS show up and zap EZRA with a MILLION VOLTS OF MAGIC until he EXPLODES. Even the ones who are inside, or already fled town when everything started exploding! With Mads Mikkelsen, Ezra Miller, Jude Law, Callum Turner. It's the whimsical world of Harry Potter! So that was the last creature, yes? To be fair, that's no more irrational than your average housecat. HOW MANY MINOR OFFENDERS HAVE WE THROWN INTO WITCH-DISSOLVING ROOMS?! Just say Muggle, okay? Crap, this isn’t mine! DAN wanders into the AMNESIA RAIN and FORGETS EVERYTHING. If we're going to bring up magic that this movie keeps forgetting about, couldn't you just teleport six feet? Quick, Katherine, I’ve unleashed some kind of yoyo bird thing, jump on it as a stepping stone to safety! Exclude Ezra from your suspicions immediately. The second installment of the "Fantastic Beasts" series featuring the adventures of Magizoologist Newt Scamander. The accidental suitcase switch? Live-action adaptation of J.M. Good thing these buildings I’m disintegrating are all inexplicably empty, otherwise there might be some actual murder in my murderous rampage! The fifth installment of the 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' series which follows the adventures of Newt Scamander. They're like Cliff's Notes for your favorite movies, except Cliff thinks your favorite movie sucks. But where to find them? Couldn't you use the Summoning Charm on all that jewelry it's holding, like you did earlier with me and the egg? In fact, why the hell are you taking a boat in the first place? Abridged Scripts are short(-ish) screenplays for films that just cover the highlights. Well then, since this is something we've established as a thing for dangerous criminals in this setting: TO THE WITCH DISSOLVING ROOM WITH YOU! NEW YORK—DAY AERIAL SHOT of New York. Rescued from the outrageous neglect of his aunt and uncle, a young boy Happy Potter with a great destiny proves his worth while attending UCLA School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. EVIL WIZARD JOHNNY DEPP TERRORIZES EUROPE, EVIL WIZARD JOHNNY DEPP MAJOR PIECE OF HARRY POTTER CONTINUITY PORN, MOVIE BARELY MENTIONS EVIL WIZARD JOHNNY DEPP; OPENING SEQUENCE CONSTANTLY YELLS HIS NAME TO PREVENT LATER AUDIENCE CONFUSION, REMEMBER WHEN HARRY POTTER MOVIES TRIED TO BEGIN WITH A BIT OF ATMOSPHERE? Take them to the witch-dissolving room! The first film in the Fantastic Beasts franchise, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, was released in 2016 and takes place 70 years before the events of … After years of abuse from a woman who hates my kind, I meet one person like me and reach out to him in desperation, only to be betrayed?! Also a magical EGG falls out and winds up being picked up by DAN FOGLER. Details. Discover your Hogwart's House, create a Wizarding Passport & unlock more magic with Wizarding World Gold The third installment of the 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' series which follows the adventures of Newt Scamander. Featuring a cast of remarkable characters, this is epic, adventure-packed storytelling at its very … Published November 18th 2016 by Arthur A. Levine Books. ProductId : 48017240. They unmask COLIN to reveal... JOHNNY DEPP AS BLOATED OLD MAN WINTER! Oh right, STAND UP STRAIGHT, EZRA! The most fun part of getting a DVD of a favorite film is watching ‘the extras.’ I love seeing the outtakes, the old trailers, and especially the deleted scenes. Inspired by the original Hogwart's textbook by Newt Scamander, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: The Original screenplay marks the screenwriting debut of J.K. Rowling, author of the beloved and internationally bestselling Harry Potter books. We already knew that the ‘Original Screenplay’ was actually not the shooting script, which included at least fifteen scenes, props, and plot points that didn’t make it to us in the theaters. Of course, for this series instead of convenient spells and artefacts, we’ll be going with an unlikely array of convenient animals. Well it also has short-term precognitive abilities, so trying to take down something which can anticipate your every move-. Why the hell do wizards even need to rent apartments? Fantastic Be. Come on, the alternative is to stand there and get dissolved, this shouldn’t be the gut-wrenching dilemma you’re making it out to be! Death to witches! Take him to prison then, to await his inevitable escape in, I’m guessing, movie three? DAN FOGLER. Then how do you account for the fact that they began pretty much the minute you stepped off the boat from England? Pleased to meet you! That takes care of Ezra and Colin, but what about the thousands of Muggles who saw a giant CGI destructo-cloud tear New York City a new one? Katherine, I find you guilty of not doing a very good job of informing us about Eddie. Cut it out!”, and Dan, you’re thinking “Oh God oh Jesus what if I accidentally think something really private SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT”. Sadly J.K. Rowling seriously misjudged how much can be crammed into a movie script, and had to jettison it all to supplemental materials that only the nerdiest will ever read, so you’ll just have to roll with it. Doctors Jo Wilson, April Kepner, and Andrew DeLuca share the episodes they think are essential to understanding their characters. Those things are weird as fuck. I’m obviously pure evil and abusing my power for my own ends! Get a sneak peek of the new version of this page. Buy Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: The Original Screenplay at Desertcart. Awesome! Yep, I totally needed to bring these hundreds of animals with me just to deliver ONE SINGLE THUNDERBIRD. Dude. He’s got a box full of unknown but probably dangerous animals! Charlie Bucket, an African-American teenager, wins not only the chance of a lifetime, by finding a Golden Ticket in a Wonka bar, but also a fate and truth about himself as things unfold in Wonka's labyrinth. Need some help finding the best things to watch on Netflix? fantastic beasts and where to find them: the original screenplay: rowling, j.k.: 9781781109601: books - amazon.ca With their warning about Lord Voldemort's return scoffed at, Harry and Dumbledore are targeted by the Wizard authorities as an authoritarian bureaucrat slowly seizes power at Hogwarts. No. Oh wow, are we going to resolve the climactic conflict through compassion and healing, Lego Movie-style? About fucking time! Wait, is this some kind of obscure joke about rhinoceros hunting and aphrodisiacs? There, modifying the memory of that single onlooker should cover up this incident. Suddenly KATHERINE WATERSTON shows up and ARRESTS EDDIE. A bloated land-narwhal the size of a metropolitan bus, just wandering the streets of New York City for the past five or six hours? Learn vocabulary, terms, and more with flashcards, games, and other study tools. Look at you with your sinister coat and sinister mutterings and sinister facial expressions and sinister haircut. Boy, customs sure are a snap in pre-pre-pre-pre-pre-9/11 New York! But, making good on his threat, Grindelwald escapes custody and sets about gathering followers, most unsuspecting of his true agenda: to raise pure-blood wizards up to rule over all non-magical beings. Inspired by the original Hogwart's textbook by Newt Scamander, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them: The Original screenplay marks the screenwriting debut of J.K. Rowling, author of the beloved and internationally bestselling Harry Potter books. The SNAKE BIRD dives into the TEAPOT, shrinking down to an appropriate size as it goes. From what I've seen wizards could fit their entire civilization into a storage locker. I’ll miss you, Eddie! Actually I think it might be just a regular platypus. 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